Monday, May 08, 2006

Don't feel like doing anything

I don't feel like doing anything on a Sunday morning. Not even in the mood to look for nice picture to dress up my entry(like I always do).

Last night went out to yumcha at Oldtown Kopitiam with Yoke Ping, thought that want to introduce Battusai to Yoke Ping but end up in a group of unclickable friends of his. Met some of colleagues (coincidence) there too. Then Battusai told me that they asked why we're so close nowadays. HAHA. But there's definately no chemistry between us. We just like to hang out with each other. Sometimes hang out with a person like him can cheer me up a lot. Ping seems sien the whole night, but can't blame her. I was too....Or are we too limited to our small circle of friends, and difficult to open up to new friends? His friends are very chatty and one of them commented that we're being too quiet. Sheesh....But I felt uneasy and awkward in a group of English talker. Jokes seems not funny and I don't have much to comment about. I don't think my English is unpresentable but Battusai always kutuk me till I lost the confidence to converse in English. But Cantonese jokes more funny laaaaaaaa.............

Ping was a bit worried with the strange changes in me. She said I'm looking sad and down and not as talkative as I use to be. Am I? She's not the first person telling me this. Debbie also once asked me whether there's anything troubling me. Do I look so depress? I still talk a lot of crappy stuff and laugh a lot. *sigh* But I don't even realize it myself that I am so depress looking. Everyone is not happy with their own life. But I'm not too unhappy about it. I'm stil grateful with what I have now. There's just something in my head that's pulling me down. Ping said it was because I see a lot of her lately....that her bad luck overshadow me as well. Don't be silly la Yoke Ping. Where got such silly thing? Fate, luck,'s all in our hand, our own destiny. No one has any effect on it. Even we might feel better if we could blame it on someone else but in the end it will still come back to us. That's why I don't want to to feel regret in anything that I did or any decision that I made. No matter how worse the outcome might be, we still can learn something from it. Sometimes we might do something so stupid that we smart ppl usually won't do(when in our rasionally clear heads) but as time goes by, we will just laugh at our own stupidity. Just like how I will laugh at myself one day when I read back those entries.

Lunch time now....mind blog more later in the night.

1 comment:

  1. Well, you have said it yourself.

    Our destiny is not in the stars, but in our own hands.

    Don't worry.
    Be happy.

    Have a great week and God bless.